(Disclaimer: My last couple of posts have been “Ha ha I’m funny” blogs, at least in my own head. This does not follow the same parameters. I am exploring, after all.)
This is my new favorite blog.
I pride myself on being a somewhat socially conscious person. I say “somewhat”, because I try not to trick myself into believing that somehow I’ve got it all figured out. In fact, the more I learn, the more I realize that really, I don’t know a damn thing. But, despite my small pool of knowledge, there are certain issues that I can get fired up about, and stay fired up about for days and weeks on end. Generally, anything having to do with race, sex, gender, sexual-orientation, class, disability, and any other minority status that induces mass discrimination and prejudice really get my goat.
That being said, the idea of Fat Acceptance (FA) and Health At Every Size (HAES) were fairly new concepts to me when I stumbled across Kate Harding’s inspired and hilarious blog. I was instantly hooked. Now, I’m not a fat person. I would describe myself as fairly average, but have been described by others as thin. (To make no mention of some of my weight-obsessed family members, who would describe me as “omg you’re so skinny have you lost weight!?”).
Ok, so I will make mention of them. As a woman raised in the US, I was raised with the same values as every other US raised woman. Among those values, it is clearly stated that “the skinnier the better,” and “if you are not actively losing weight, you are a fat cow”. The older women in my family, raised in the same environment as I, held the same values. Therefore, I was brought up watching these women (and the entire nation) trying everything possible to get their waists down to the all-powerful Size Six. I mean, seriously, the cabbage soup diet?!? And that’s not even a joke.
As a result of this thin-obsessed culture, it is only natural that, despite my inherently average size, I’ve got issues. I myself have, in the past, dieted to excess, denied my body of precious nutrients, tortured myself with ridiculously un-fun exercise, and on and on. I have done this because it’s what I’ve been taught to do. Femininity and self-worth are intrinsically tied to our body fat percentages and pants sizes, and the only way to undo the damage that has been unapologetically inflicted on us is to get educated and rebel.
And what a sad word that is: rebel. It is a sad word, in this context, because what it means is that in order to love ourselves just the way we are, we must fight, resist, defy, and reject the very society that we are surrounded with at all times. And that, my friends, is not fucking easy.
I like to think that I am, in many ways, moving away from the insane patriarchal idea that skinny=godlike. This is, in part, due to the fact that I really love to eat. Food makes me happy! And since food makes me happy, the idea of restricting and measuring and weighing makes me decidedly unhappy. Most diets do not include ice cream and hoagies and bagel sandwiches and lattes, and these are all things that I am unwilling to give up. But here’s a secret, one that I am ashamed to admit and that I’m not sure I’ve actually spoken aloud before: I feel guilty more often than not, when I “indulge” (please note the sarcasm dripping from that word) in these delicious goodies.
THAT IS TOTALLY AND UTTERLY RIDICULOUS. Here’s the facts: As I have said, I am not a large person. And, quite frankly, even if I was a large person, I still eat a reasonably not-crappy diet most of the time and am fairly active in my day-to-day life. All of these things add up to the fact that if I want to spend my Saturday night eating half a pizza and some Ben and Jerry’s while watching the latest New Release, it’s really not a big deal. And yet, my US Media fed brain tells me that pizza and ice cream = burning in the eternal fire pits of hell.
Unfortunately, I am not alone in this delusion. And fortunately, I am not alone in this delusion. Woman everywhere, in the US and beyond, have to deal with this very same thing. This makes me sad and outraged, and yet, it’s websites like Shapely Prose that give me some serious hope. Here is a group of women who are fat (and average and small), who are actively working toward becoming perfectly okay with whatever shape it is that the Universe saw fit to give them. That’s some serious inspiration right there.
So, despite my insane thought processes surrounding food, I will continue to eat my delicious ice cream, and try to remember, like these amazing women, that the number on the scale does not define me. And, when the subject of the newest lose-thirty-pounds-in-a-day diet plan comes up, I will happily think to myself: “Fuck you, cabbage soup.”
Summer Wardhani said
*having a breakfast of chocolate milk + croissant with ham and cheese. Yummy… care for a bite ? Women in my country are tradittionally fat and short. Yes, it’s true we’re also bombarded with images of perfection every day, every hour. As for me, I’m perfectly happy with being as I am. And holly goddess, really hard to give up my ice-cream-only-plate dinners, hehehe. I guess the only thing that matters is that you look at the mirror and enjoy what you see. If the others around you don’t… well, they can always buy some cute magazines and enjoy the sightseeing.
Looking forward to reading you more and more :***
Ayathollah Alivoujah said
There you have!
Western decadence at its best!
Or should I say “worse”?
Humm…
Tricky English…
Erin…
Cabbage is a wonderful creation from Allah!
Lots of antioxidants and a fews bit of carbohydrates and fibre, besides water of course.
And Cabbage Soup?
Yummy!
Allah Akbar!
erin said
Summer – Mmm croissants… I love them. I also love that you have stuck around!!
Ayathollah – I would never dream of knocking cabbage on it’s own; I can certainly appreciate it’s value in certain situations, like with corned beef, for example (Irish roots). The cabbage soup diet, however, consists almost entirely of cabbage soup (if I remember correctly)… and that, my friend, is just crazymaking.
Ayathollah Alivoujah said
Just cabbage soup?…
Is that some type of torture used in Gitmo?
I’ll bet my poor brothers would tell everything the CIA would want!
Allah Akbar!
Ayathollah Alivoujah said
BTW…
Is “corned beef” a cow seated on a corner
Summer Wardhani said
Erin, thanks… unfortunately, I’m afraid Aya also took the same ride LOLOLOL Hope you enjoy the trip as much as we do!
Erin's Dad said
Yes “Cabbage Soup Diet’ consists of only Gabbage Soup, as many times a day as you can stomach it. Years ago, when Erins mother went on this, YUK!, diet, I thought that I would be supportive if I participated a little. What an utterly inhumane waste of time! I couldn’t get out of the house fast enough to get a Whooper or Big Mac. Unfortunately if you advertise that you have the secret way to a sculptured, “Movie Star” body, people will try anything. Conforming to an nonexisting, unnatural, set of guidelines is a sad state of our society.
I accept responsibility for nurturing the Ice Cream jones in my family. I love it as much as I love Folgers Columbian with Coffeemate and too much sugar.
Erin's Dad said
Erin’s Dad’s words to live by.
Wisdom is not gained in the breath between sentences!
erin said
Yay for Dad!!
(I feel I should mention, just for the sake of clarity, that my Mom is no longer involved in the crazymaking diet scene, as far as I know. Rock on, Mom!)
Ayathollah Alivoujah said
Summer…
What ride were you mentioning?
I wasn’t taken to Gitmo…
Thank Allah!
roadpoet said
I actually love cabage soup, seriously, no I’m dead serious, yes I really do love it, shut up – I’m being serious here. Ok, now as I’ve been rather sedimentary this summer & I’m concernbed about fitting into my stripping clothes for the deer hunter’s this fall – I’m thinking about trying the diet. But first I have a relatively academic question – does the type of cabbage soup I eat matter? And yes that is a serious question. Yes there are many types that taste much differently. What do you mean how do I know. I just know ok? Seriously now, doe sthe kind of cabbage soup matter?
And here’s why I ask…you see Big Boy makes a pretty good cabbage soup, but I like my step-mothers better because she puts large chunks of ham in it. Then there’s my sister who substitutes chicken nuggets for ham in her cabbage soup & it’s pretty good too!
My aunt Blinda also uses the chicken nuggets, but she gets pretty risky and substitutes french fries for the cabbage & I think her risk pays off in taste bud explosions. My grandmother does it pretty much the same, except she adds ice cream, m&ms, and fudge brownies to her’s (actually after the accident with grandpa she now puts the ice cream, m&ms, & fudge brownies on the side). So if I can choose any type of cabage soup – I’d choose grandma’s. If that’s ok.
Please let me know – I’m dying to start my cabbage soup diet, and as a perfectionist I just want to know the rules. Seriously let me know. Hurry up too, because I’m getting hungry.
roadpoet said
The moral of the story is: Never trust anyone who doesn’t eat ice cream. And only trust those who eat ‘lite’ ice cream if they accidently grabbed the wrong three gallon tub. Yeah I said it ‘three gallon tub.’
I have to buy the three gallon tub, otherwise I can’t mix in the four pounds of bulk candy I bought.
MMmmmmMmm! candy……..
roadpoet said
Ok I lied. The real moral is never, never, never trust self-image to anything other than self. Easier said than done, since over 80% of all advertising plays on subconsious fears of the intellect, but it can be done. Peace.
This post sponsored by Presto! magic weight loss beans. Ask for them by name.
roadpoet said
I just wanted to say that I meant all of those posts to be one single post so as not to look like a cabbage-loving psycho, but my hands are cold from holding the ice cream tub and my pinky keeps
roadpoet said
slipping over to the send key.
Portugal Decosta said
Hi Erin.
I’m a Food Technologist and I hold a PG in Hospitality Management (including restaurants), meaning “food is my thing” – well, just one of them actually…
I have to say that I’m always troubled when people star to write apologetically about “being fat without guilt” or, conversely, “aiming to size zero”.
Another very common mistake is to come up with a “single type of food diet” – like the one you mentioned.
Science doesn’t support any of the 3 above approaches.
I always amazed how much science is disregarded, especially Nutrition.
Everyone things it can have “its own opinion” about the matter, regardless of what we, food scientists, say.
Actually, is extremely frustrating to be one, because nobody cares with whatever we say.
Worse, if a “TV hotshot” endorses some kind of diet or lifestyle that person is considered more knowledgeable than we are!
Even if it doesn’t have any kind of degree, which is more often than not.
To keep it short I’ll tell 8 very simple rules:
use the BMI to access your weight;
eat as much variety of foods as possible;
scrap junk food;
scrap salt;
scrap sweets;
scrap sugar;
scrap so-called “light” or “low-fat” processed foods;
do exercise.
Regards and be healthy.
Dietas doidas / Crazy Diets « Portugaldecosta’s Weblog said
[...] 26 Julho 2008 por Portugal Decosta Hoje deixarei aqui um artigo em ingles. O motivo e’ tratar-se duma resposta ao artigo que a Erin escreveu sobre dietas e peso. http://braingoo.wordpress.com/2008/07/23/ice-cream-is-my-friend/ [...]
Summer Wardhani said
Portugal… shut upppp please ! LOLOLOL
Lunch yesterday – popcorns and saumon sandwich. Dinner yesterday – mexican burritos.
Breakfast today – chocolate milk, popcorns. Mid-morning meal: croissant with cheese and ham (chicken sandwich to be kept for later). Expected lunch: any soup they may have in the restaurant. Expected dinner: ice-cream.
Please… don’t you spoil my fun, huh ?
Katie Usher said
Diets? Why??? why is it that we are (almost) all obsessed by the media message that we have to be thin to be attractive!
I have always been described as ‘curvy’ (I think the last time I was ‘thin’ was when I was 13 years old! Curvy – try getting that down to thin! It’s just not possible, doesnt matter how much weight I lose, I will never look ‘thin’ so I just gave up trying! I am currently a UK size 14 -16, which is probably huge to the USA ‘ladies who lunch’ (so do I – and I love every mouthful!) but about average here.
I have accepted that some people will judge me on how I look, and, to be honest, if that’s all they see, then I can well live without people like that. I prefer to be judged on who I am, what I say, how I act towards others, and still be allowed to eat ice-cream, bagels, cream cheese, bacon (sorry!) and pizza, than have to spend my time starving to be accepted!
Eat on my friends, and let those who are obsessed by ’skinny’ starve in solitude! Us ‘ladies who love food’ will stick together!
erin said
Mmm bacon! Rock on ladies… I love hearing from women (and men!) who refuse to be put inside the Skinny Box… it’s just not worth it!